March 17 1999
"You know, I'm gonna make a book up, see. The book on it's face
will look like, you know, one of those very erudite, how-to-make-out,
sane-sex-and-marriage kind of things, nut books. But if you follow
the instructions in this book, you'll never make out at all, never.
Really constructed so that it's a zero no-score. Sell it for forty-
five dollars in plain brown wrapping paper."
---Lenny Bruce
I'm in love with my stepsister.
I've known her since she was 14 and I 19. It took me ten years to get
into the newspaper biz, and finally make it as a paid pro, and finally
feel like I have something to offer her besides, well, hot monkey sex.
And we did flirt here and there over the years.
She is also in a really good job that she digs--flight attendant.
She's been to Russia on the plane, even.
So now we're both in decent jobs, living large, doing what we like,
we're both single, and what happens? We live 150 miles apart and
our schedules never coincide.
It's maddening.
On the work front we have Perspectives, our annual 100 page thingy coming up.
This involves so much work over and above the usual insanity of
putting out a daily newspaper that I feel like I'm up to my eyeballs
and just barely feeling the bottom with the tips of my toes.
Plus I have a special Sunday section to put out, and the subject
of my main piece just canceled on me because (I can't believe this)
her grandmother is afraid if she appears in the newspaper her life
might be in danger.
And I wanted to do a nice profile of her. She's a lawyer for one of
the local Indian tribes, a young native American woman who went out
and got her law degree and then came back to the reservation to
represent her people.
Inspiring. Positive role-model type stuff. But grandma has spoken.
Alas.
I feel pretty good today. Only one of my knees is hurting (as opposed to
the usual full-on joint pain) and my usually gargantuan blood
pressure is responding well to the smorgasbord of drugs.
Now if I can just get this stepsister thing figured out, all will
be well in the Samurai Fat Guy Dojo.
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